III. Complexes, Guilt and Stress
To live in the material realm each of us must be able to deal with the
events which are external to us, our perception of them and how they
affect our physical body. Each event, depending on the value we assign
to it, has a chemical as well as emotional effect on our body and hence
on our lower and middle selves.
Those individuals who are able to integrate both positive and negative
experiences are more likely to be balanced. They will generally be
capable of being more realistic, cautious when necessary, fun loving and
joyful when appropriate. They will more likely be ready to deal with and
react intelligently and meaningfully with any situation that may arise
in their life. The integrated person realizes life is fraught with
danger, but recognizes that it is also filled with beauty and love. They
take that which is dangerous and negative in stride, aware of what they
can and cannot handle. They create positive support teams, chains of
command and a realistic hierarchy of resources and they are always ready
to go into action to protect themselves and their loved ones.
The non-integrated individual reacts differently. They are generally
less likely to be able to integrate past experiences'. Frequently they
have not fully dealt with nor learned what needed to learn from their
life experiences. They are less likely to be prepared for what they meet
along the way. They are more often unrealistic about their goals and
circumstances. They are frequently obstructed by their past experiences.
Because of all of this, they are usually more unprotected in their day
to day living of life. At the extremes they are either unprepared for
what they face or life becomes a living nightmare for them.
Also, because they do not integrate their life experiences well, they
are often filled with fearful over the possibility of further insult or
injury. They may worry about recurrences and about their ability to
protect themselves from future negative experiences. This may leave them
unable to use available internal or external resources and unable to
rely on the support of others around them. They may be afraid of asking
for help, or not know how to ask for help, nor who to trust. Ultimately
they tend to learn that if they do not face the issues at hand they feel
better in the short run, yet they may entirely be unable to recognize
that this is a poor strategy in the long run.
When we are faced with any life experience, positive or negative, these
events are experienced by our lower self first. The lower self must
determine if it is necessary or safe for the middle self
to know what has really occurred. If the material is extremely
traumatic, the lower self may choose to limit what the middle self can
know. This process of selection is essential or the middle self
will be bogged down in minutia and stimulation that it cannot deal with.
The process by which the lower self deals with each event is called
rationalization. That is, it must incorporate the substance of the
event into the life picture or pictures created by the middle self. The
events must fit into the already agreed upon rational and orderly world
that the middle and lower self have created for themselves. An example
of this might be, you see a person coming toward you, the lower self
must rationalize whether this person is a friend or an enemy. If
the lower self believes that the person is a friend then it must
integrate the person's body posture, speed, facial expression, whether
he has a weapon in his hand and whether he appears hostile or friendly.
In this example the event is happening in the present and all decisions
have to be made quickly. If the clues suggest a hostile intention, the
Stress Mechanism will be activated. This process works similarly with
events which occurred in the past or are expected to occur in the
future. In a second example an individual is involved in an auto
collision during which he is knocked unconscious. In the same accident
his friend who was a passenger in the car is killed. Upon wakening he
calls for his friend and is told that the friend was killed in the
accident. He may not want to believe this or totally block out the
accident entirely. He may have amnesia for the events surrounding
the accident and his friend's death. It may take him weeks or even
months before memories come back and he may have guilt over the events
even if he had absolutely nothing to do with the death of his friend.
Eventually, as he is able to rationalize what happened his memory
returns and the guilt he experienced subsides as he is able to accept
that there is no legitimate reason to blame himself.
When experiences are too traumatic or when they cannot be immediately
rationalized the lower self may suppress the experience. In such cases
the middle self may not have any memory (remember, it is the conscious,
aware self and memories are stored in the lower self) of what happened
from just before the trauma, until sometime after the event. This is not
done intentionally by the middle self to block out the experience, but
rather it is done by the lower self to protect the middle self. When the
lower self believes that the middle self will be unable to face issues
that are too painful, it often simply suppresses them. It pushes
them down into the subconscious (lower self memory) where they cannot be
heard or seen by the middle self.
The lower self may initially do this only to protect the middle self at
that time the events occur, it may need the time for itself in order to
rationalize the experience and fit it into the life picture s held by
the middle and lower selves. However, since life continually moves on,
the lower self may lose track and become occupied with other momentary
experiences and as time goes by the event's move farther and farther
away making them less and less important.
It is clear however, that the lower self knows that these suppressed
conflicts still exist and it also knows that they must eventually be
resolved and rationalized. It wants to complete the rationalization
process and for the most part most experiences are eventually
rationalized even if it takes years to do this. Meanwhile, these
unrationalized experiences may be pushing on the middle self, in the
form of dreams, nightmares, flashbacks or emotional outbursts that sneak
out before the lower self can suppress them. The lower self, on the
other hand, also wants them completed so to some degree it allows these
events to take place, allowing information to leak to the middle self to
desensitize it. In the best of all worlds this might work well but in
many people it presents years of pain and torture dealing with traumatic
experiences that are long since past history.
If we are experiencing negative emotions and internal conflict we can
often help ourselves by working to bring these experiences up into the
light so that they can be finalized and ultimately rationalized and
integrated into our life picture. Only in this way can we release the
stress mechanism and release our self from their negative effect.
An example of this is a child who was molested and because of fear for
her life and guilt created by the molester blocks out the memory of the
actual events. Over many years she may have flashbacks or nightmares,
they may be distinct or fragmented, but since she has no conscious
memory of the events they are misunderstood or seen as traumatic and
once again suppressed by her lower self as it tries to protect her. Only
through working on what happened, bringing out the experience into the
open, openly experiencing the pain and rationalizing it appropriately
that she was not responsible, that another person forced the events on
her and that she is blameless and guiltless can she finally be set free.
If these experiences are not dealt with and rationalized, the unresolved
conflict associated with them will eventually trigger the stress
mechanism. Once triggered the stress mechanism must ultimately be
released, if not, this can inevitably lead us toward physical, mental,
emotional or spiritual illness.
It is important that we learn what must be learned from these
experiences that we gain from them and grow from them and that we learn
to accept reality, even if we do not like it. Then and only then, can we
let go and be free to be our real and true self.
All of these mechanisms are part of the strongest and most important
mandate of life, the Survival Mechanism, the Stress Mechanism. When such
situations are not resolved, they act as blocks to future growth,
to wholeness and to realizing the joy of the gift of life. They can also
block us from having our Huna Prayers answered. When we have one or more
blocks that become linked together we call them complexes.
To read the next article in the
Huna Healing-6, click here.
©Allco Medical Enterprises, Inc. 2012